The haters are just hateful

So after an overload of venue searches and quotes and now with a couple of wedding fairs under my belt my head is truly spinning. I'm going to indulge my emotions here a little and use this blog as a bit of a pause and moan moment.

So having put thought into food, guest lists, venues etc. you want people to be a little more...I dunno...appreciative maybe? I know it's our wedding, our venue, our date etc but a lot of those things are catered for the guests as much as the marrying couple. In this it is the small comments that kill me...i feel like making a 'black list' of people who don't get invited on the principal of what they say and how they say it...if you don't want to come then fine, it'll save us money on feeding you...but don't turn up just to moan about how pointless you find the symbol of marriage.

I found myself today crying a little, my feelings were really hurt from what different people have said to me at different points over the last few days. These comments genuinely hurt my feelings...of course I wait until I'm safe in the solidarity of my car before I let my emotions get the better of me. 

From the idea that getting married is one expensive piece of paper...to the worry that we're picking the most expensive venue without doing our research and being irresponsible in our choices, to the fact that people don't want to be there for some cheesy disco. I have had what feels like a barrage of these comments in the last week from friends, relatives and work colleagues. All of these things seemingly said without regard for the feelings of anyone who actually wants to get married, or the small number of people who seem to be looking forward to the wedding. 

There are always some guests who you invite out of courtesy. I truly believe that this courtesy can be revoked if you do not show respect for my feelings. I am not paying £39.85 for just you to be at my wedding when you don't want to be there (£13.95pp to eat at the reception £13.95pp to drink and £11.95pp) that is almost a days wage for me to let one person at my wedding eat, drink and be merry...I am not giving away my hard earned money to those who don't want it or deserve it.

This brings me onto another option. Don't invite the extras. Have a small wedding with very immediate family only. No riff raff. 

At the moment I honestly don't know how to move this planning forward.